Hibernation

*Geordie accent* Day 10 in the abstinence house. And things are going, pretty well actually.

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post, so what’s been happening? Well after an enjoyable Christmas with the family, Trillian (girlfriend) and I returned home, her for work, me to rest and prepare for the end to all things fun. Like a bear settling in for the Winter, my vices (booze and fags) too were ready for hibernation.

My brother said that if I was serious then I should read Allen Carr’s ‘Easy Way To Stop Smoking’ book. Scepticism naturally followed but the promise that I was able to puff away until I had finished the book helped a little. Days past while I re-enacted my best sloth-like impression and it was NYE before I had started reading, so as any good addict would, I locked myself away with only a self-help book for company. I was engrossed and finished before dinner on NYD. The book explains what it refers to as the subtle nicotine trap which at one point had over 60% of the population smoking.

Bainwashing or not, the book said what I needed to hear, smokers are not weak willed, anyone can fall into the habit and most importantly anyone can also kick it with ease. Essentially there are no advantages to smoking and he goes through any perceived benefits crushing them one by one (e.g. the enjoyment of that after dinner smoke).

To quit there are a few points to remember:

•  5 days for withdrawal symptoms to fade – a nicotine monster will whisper sweet nothings but you need to ignore those pangs
• 3 weeks for an ex-smoker to feel free – great! Emancipation in t-minus 11 days
• never doubt your decision – fat chance now
• don’t use substitutes – they’ll make you think you’re missing out on something you want, when it’s just poison you’re putting in your body
• and don’t be jealous of smokers – instead feel that sense of superiority and pity that they’re still salves to the evil weed

Before you think I’m too sanctimonious, these are his words not mine. But for anyone who is thinking about quitting and needs a kick – read this book.

I have since been told by non-smokers, colleagues and others that it’s the bible of ex-smokers. I even had a client this week swear by it, boasting that it’s been five years since he last gave in to the evil weed.

So no patches (as essentially you’re still a nicotine addict with them), no food binging and no alcohol clouding my desires.

10 days and I don’t even think about cigarettes. It’s great.

The drinking however is tough. I find myself on Saturdays wanting a pint at unreasonable hours just because I know I can’t have one. I wouldn’t usually think at 10am on weekends, “God it would be great to be in a pub right now nursing an intoxicatingly beautiful pint of beer”. I don’t even care which one. Serve me a Foster’s top for all I care.

It’s got to the point I’m staring out the window, pining for our office local as if it were an old flame. I don’t even like the Garrick Arms; it has no seating, plays tinnitus-inducing shite music, it’s tourist-central and charges £5.40 for 568ml of the good stuff. #AmberNectarWithdrawals

Before Sundays are out I will usually have gone through 10pints* I’d say in a week. So this giving up is more for my liver but also to prove I can. After questions from friends and colleagues if I’m raising money I thought, why not. So the reasons are more selfish rather than altruistic but either way if you fancy contributing it would be greatly appreciated

But fuck it. I wallow. Things aren’t that bad. The immune system is topping up and I have my health. Now to get some fitness back with some exercise. Those runs I talked about around Clissold Park in the last post…yeah not so much. But I’ve remembered there is a built-in Health App on the Samsung S5 mini so who knows what this week will bring right?

Next time on PartTimeHackFullTimeFlack more positivity about things I’m doing rather than not doing/missing I promise.

*May be a conservative estimate